


And In Itself

by kelex



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 01:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12097266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: Will begins to understand the choices he will make





	And In Itself

**Author's Note:**

> "The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven" is from _Paradise Lost_ by John Milton

Can you imagine the Hell of knowing that the person you love most in this world is a literal cannibal, eating the organs of his victims, then creates beautiful art out of their bodies?

Can you imagine the Hell of knowing that you are a representative of the law, tasked with finding the serial killer responsible for the murder tableaus he leaves behind?

Can you imagine the Hell of knowing that the person who understands you most in this world is the man who's tried to kill you, has killed your daughter, and you have forgiven him?

Can you imagine the Heaven of knowing that you have tried to kill him back, and he has forgiven you?

Because this is the dichotomy that Will Graham lives with every day. 

He knows that all the signs are pointing towards Hannibal Lecter, and there is nothing Will can do to stop that. In some ways, he knows he doesn't have to; Hannibal is well-capable of deflecting attention away from his darker proclivities. And Will knows, too, that should the need arise, Hannibal is quite capable of disappearing into the ether, with nothing left to show for his existence.

He's offered more than once to take Will with him, and more than once, he has wanted to say yes. He knows that Hannibal knows this; he knows, too, this is why Hannibal still asks. They both know that eventually, he will say yes. He will have no other choice. 

Because this life is not sustainable for much longer. The subterfuge is ending, and soon it will be time for Will to make a choice. In the back of his mind, and deep in his heart, he knows what the choice will be. It has already been made; it was made the day he met Hannibal Lecter. All that remains is to come to terms with the choice, to understand the reasons the choice was made, and to assign a moment of decision to the choice. 

Because the choice is this; he will go with Hannibal because he cannot survive without Hannibal any longer. Hannibal has seen to that. There is no part of Will's life now that does not revolve around Hannibal; his work, their therapy sessions, their all-consuming friendship, their sexual relationship, their mental attenuation.

Will does not know how many more crime scenes he can walk onto and pretend he wasn't there already, watching the final master strokes in place. He does not know how many more times he can pretend not to know when in fact, he knows everything. He does not know how many more times he can bend before he breaks.

But he does it anyway, because it is only in this moment that he can protect Hannibal. He can direct Jack and the others away from the intelligent psychopath that is Hannibal Lecter, away from the intelligent psychopath that is Will Graham. His time of doing that is ending, though, because he senses more than knows that there is suspicion lingering around the both of them. Not enough to crystalize an epiphany in anyone, not yet, but it is beginning, and Will knows that is the end. 

The next time Hannibal asks, he will say yes.

He does not know where this will lead them, but he is afraid that it will be glorious. He is terrified that he will lose himself in what is to come, and become nothing more than an extension of Hannibal's will in the world. 

He is terrified because that sounds a bit like Heaven to him.

End


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